Dating Life Series #20: The time I dated an older man

                            THE TIME I DATED AN OLDER MAN 

                                                       Al Pacino (83) & His girlfriend Noor Alfallah (29)

Yup I already know you're thinking a bunch of the things like "what does she mean by an older man, older like how?" etc. This is going to be a crazy tale to tell. I normally keep this moment of time to myself. Unless you are one of my really close friends, then you know about Jason. I never really went into detail about Jason with my friends, they just knew of him and how we used to be a thing. I've decided we're going to keep it wild and put it all out there. There are so many good and bad things from this relationship but it was never official. It was on and off due to me being involved with other people, his current situation or we would just distance ourselves from each other whenever one of us felt like we had too. The funniest part of it all is Jason isn't even his real name. That's just what he told me his name was. I tend to use fake names in my blog posts but in this case it doesn't matter because he gave me a fake name to begin with. 

     It all started when I used to work at Wawa after high school many years ago. The first night I met Jason, he was a customer. Obviously at Wawa you place your order on the touch screen devices available. So he placed his order then proceeded to come to me and ask me to make his sandwich a certain way. Me being the best employee ever I did what he asked me to do. But while I was making his sandwich we got on the topic of weed. He told me he sells weed. So we took each other's info. Honestly, he was wearing Versace shades, a cool fedora hat, nice jewelry and dressed very stylish like he just came from an event. He stood out even after the shades came off. I thought he was attractive regardless but It never crossed my mind that I wanted to be sexually involved with him. I thought he was just going to be my weedman. He was kind of a regular especially since his house was around the corner from the Wawa. This occasion happened sometime in December of 2016. We would text here and there. One day through text I asked his age. He sent me a picture and told me to guess. I said twenty-six or twenty-eight (I can't remember which number) and he said I was right. I told him I was eighteen but I was really seventeen. So the fact that we're both already lying to each other is absurd I know. We texted occasionally but the first time we ever hung out was New Years Day. I'll never forget this day. 

    It's New Years Eve night 2016. High school is over. I didn't go to college like the rest of the folks. I had no idea what I wanted to do at this time. I'm working my usual overnight shift at Wawa. My shift ends at three forty five in the morning. I bought a bottle of 1738 Remy Martin on my way to work to have for the new year festivities. This was Fetty Wap days. If you know then you know. I had no plans for the New Year as I'm headed to work. I did end up taking a shot of the liquor at work once it was midnight. It was on camera but I wasn't even thinking of not being in the camera when I did that. I remember my manager calling me into the office my next shift to tell me he checked the cameras, and he's going to let me slide but please don't do that again. I was young and reckless clearly. That night at work was also bizarre because at three in the morning this group of drunk girls came in. One of my co-workers had previous issues with them from elsewhere. So this leads them to start arguing with each other and cause a scene. All I was thinking the entire time was; the year just started what is going on? My shift ended while they were still arguing. While all of this was happening, Jason texted me seeing what I was up too. He was most likely on his way home from being out. Jason lived around the corner from Wawa. We ended up making plans with each other for when I got off work at three forty five in the morning. I told him I had a bottle of Remy, he being the weedman had the weed. He picked me up and our morning started. So I spent the new year of 2017 at work and with Jason. I don't remember a lot of the smaller details but I do remember us getting extremely WASTED for the new year. I had fun. I stayed the night at his place. We also had some wild sex that night. He definitely taught me how to be better at giving oral sex by telling me what he wanted me to do to him. Ever since that night I was sleeping over his place days in a row. I was learning a lot of different sex positions. I considered myself untamed now. I had sex with this guy on the first actual night we hung out. I'm not even eighteen. I hadn't done that before. Anyways, we hung out a lot. We would go out to eat, go to bars, go on random dates or family/friend functions. I wasn't even twenty one but I would certainly have access to these places because of me being with Jason who was well connected in Newark, along with me pretending to be of age. 

    During the early days of our fling, I was hanging out with him in his house. I saw he had a big framed picture of him and a little girl. It wasn't hanging up anytime I came over, it just randomly appeared one day. I'm assuming he just bought it. I asked him who that was. I'll never forget the way he looked at me and said " Come on you're really gonna ask me that?" It was obviously his daughter but he never openly told me had one so for me I feel like this is where all the mysteriousness started. For that to be his response was not okay. I don't remember what I said but I know I had an attitude. All that was going through my mind was damn I'm really out here messing around with this dude who has a kid, a baby momma. I'm not trying to get caught up. But he lived alone and I practically stayed with him for days at a time so I already knew he was not seeing his child's mother. Or at least I thought. 

    Nothing changed once I found out he had a kid. I tried my best not to let it bother me since I really liked him. We were still hanging with each other. But now one day I find out his name is not Jason. I can't remember how I found out. I'm guessing I found out after being around him and his family members for some time. I would be around some of his guy friends but they never called him by his actual name either. He had a different street name. So I always thought his real name was Jason. Fast forward to a couple days after finding this out, I also found out he was not in his twenties. So one day I'm laying in his bed and I decide to google his name. I find his mailing address and his previous addresses that I knew looked familiar.  Along with his age that says thirty-three. Instantly I'm thinking what the fuck!? So I go to the bathroom and aggressively ask him " Yo, you thirty-three?" He starts laughing and has the audacity to ask me "Why do you say that?" So I responded "I googled you bro, It says you thirty-three!" By this time, he already found out I lied about my age by one year. I also can't remember the story of when he found out but I most likely confessed. I'm actually eighteen at this point now. So his comeback was well I lied about my age too so we're even. After this nothing changed. Looking back on that moment, it was hysterical. That probably would've been anybody else's cue to not continue talking to him. But nope I didn't do that. 

   After a couple months of me having a blast, things slowed down between us. I ended up moving in with a guy I was seeing. While I was dating Jason I actually ended up taking a different guy seriously that was ironically another weedman of mine. We're going to call him Sam. Jason and I had developed a mutual understanding where we already knew it was never going to be official, so I was still doing my own thing. I knew how to make time for both of them. But I stopped prioritizing Jason so I would only hang out with him if I really felt like it. Once I moved in with Sam, I started not talking to Jason as much but he was around. Later on things didn't work out with Sam. I had the password to his iPad so I decided to look through his facebook messages. He was flirting with a girl or a few girls so I got really mad, cursed him out, then moved out. It bothered me a lot because I didn't know what Sam would be doing while I was working. So the fact that I went through his messages and saw what I saw, I just didn't want to deal with any of that. By this point It was winter of 2018, I was eighteen years old about to turn nineteen in the summer and moved out of my mom's house for the first time. Jason was my ride that same day I moved out. I think at this time I went to crash with my friend Christopher for a few months, then I went back to my mom's house before Spring started. The day I moved back to my mom's house, Jason helped me by giving me a ride with all my belongings again. 

   Once I moved back with my mom, Jason and I started seriously dating but not officially. He met my mom because she would take cabs to ShopRite. Jason being the hustler he is offered to take my mom and wait for her to finish for twenty dollars. My mom had no idea what was going on. She genuinely thought he was a friend. Eventually summertime came around. Jason was in Georgia at his grandmother's house so he told me to buy a one way ticket down there and he'll take care of the rest. The plan was for us to drive back to Jersey from Florida So I bought my ticket. I went to Georgia with only forty dollars. But I did not tell him that. I literally used my forty dollars wisely. We also went thrifting and he bought me a few things. I met some more of his family members when I went. But once again it wasn't like hey this is my girlfriend, it would always be "this is my homegirl Michelle." I'm sure they knew what it was. I wasn't around dummies or anyone my age. I carried myself in a way where a lot of people had no clue of my real age. If i'm not mistaken, we also drove to Florida from Georgia to see his aunt and nephew. This was maybe an entire week trip. Before anyone starts wondering, he was not my sugar daddy. He would pay for things or buy things for me sometimes but me as an independent woman I would also pay for things and buy things for him as well. The same car we drove back in from Florida was the same car I bought off him a year later as my first car. It was a Blue tinted Honda Accord LX 94. I loved it. It was the first car I ever learned how to drive in. I tried my hardest to hold onto it but the car ended up getting towed while I was trying to find the Title to it. Yep I lost it. Rookie mistake. Moving along, hilariously enough I did meet his daughter a couple times but she knew me as Auntie Rosie. I never introduced myself as Michelle because he told me not to. One of the most iconic memories during my time with Jason. 

   The craziest experience I have with Jason is my first three-sum. It was unexpected and unplanned for me. I still to this day don't know if he planned this in his head. It's a regular day in the neighborhood. I'm chilling in Mcdonald's with a friend of mine. Jason texts me, asks me what I'm doing. Coincidentally he tells me he's in the area with one of his homegirls. I forget what he said but I was under the impression we were going to drive around, get drunk and just chill. She also had to pick up her kid at a certain time. The beginning of this night is kind of a blur. I tell the friend I am with that Jason is going to pick me up when I finish eating. I get in the vehicle, I meet Brianna. She's a very pretty girl so I remember feeling a way. I remember thinking is he dating her too?? We take shots the minute I get in the car. Now we're driving around, smoking, drinking, snacking, and vibing. We end up at Jason's place. This is where everything gets confusing for me. He puts on a movie, rolls up a blunt and now we're all just sitting on his bed. He didn't have an official living room like most folks. So the only seating available for all of us was in his room or the kitchen table. Next thing you know Jason and Brianna are cuddled up together. But I'm still at the edge of the bed. Once I see that, I get mad. Jason tells me to join them. I was like nope I can't do this. I grabbed all my things and stormed out. Jason calls my phone, I start yelling at him. He says it's not even like that, just come hang out. Sugar coating this situation. After some back and forth, Jason somehow convinces me to come back while saying it's not what it seems. But when I come back it's the same scene. Nothing has changed. So I remember thinking in my head you know what, I'm just going to try to not be angry, we're not an item, he has a kid, I date other people sometimes, fuck it what am I mad about? I end up getting in bed with Jason and Brianna to cuddle and watch this movie. A few minutes later Jason and Brianna start making out. I was already furious inside. Jason starts to kiss me then we're all undressing each other. Brianna and I take turns giving him oral sex, then he goes to put on a condom. I am now making out with Brianna. Feeling up on her boobs and she's touching me as well. I end up going down on her, she returns the favor as she should. Jason then takes turns having sex with both of us. Throughout this time I was feeling all sorts of emotions. Betrayed, angry, disappointed, used. I felt forced but not really because I decided to come back. I made all of these decisions myself. In a way I wanted to have a three-sum but this one was just weird. After about thirty minutes of Jason taking turns having sex with us, he looked at me then told us he couldn't finish. I had the look of disappointment and anger in my face. That's why he couldn't cum. He told me that later on that night. Eventually we all clean up, get in the vehicle and drop Brianna off. Jason and I had a very long conversation after that. He swore that wasn't his intention. But ya'll can be the verdict on that one. I was mad of course, but once again I always told myself I need to not be so angry at someone who is not my boyfriend. I just liked being around Jason. I loved the adrenaline I would get with doing all the things I was definitely not supposed to be doing. 

    As time goes by, Jason and I are kicking it. It's now year number three of our fling. A few months before my twenty-first birthday I ended up renting a room in a house in Caldwell for $800 a month. A very nice house, I had access to the entire house so it wasn't like I was trapped in my room. I was still interested in other people as well. I spent my twenty first birthday at a hotel in New York City with a guy who I wanted to date but it didn't end up working out. My roommate and I became cool. He was an older man in his forties. He was a bar manager at a local restaurant. I would walk his dog since he would come back at one in the morning sometimes. He introduced me to a lot of different beers, we also smoked weed together occasionally. He was very lenient on letting me invite people over. I never involved myself with him though because he was my roommate. My life was slowly changing as I was getting older. Jason and I had plenty of arguments already. Most of the arguments would be because I was impatient, had an attitude, and the main argument would be how he didn't want to take me seriously as a girlfriend. We're basically acting as if we are in a relationship but we are not. Eventually I gave up on that fantasy. I would invite guys over that I only wanted to have sex with because they were sexy. I didn't want to take anything serious with these guys, they were all fuckboys. After a bit, I started dating this other guy that I mentioned in one of my blog posts, His name is Gus. I had him on Instagram for a while since I lived in the Bronx. He was in my DMs for about a year until I let him take me on a date. I wasn't trying to take him serious, I only wanted to have sex. After our date he didn't come upstairs. That's when my mindset shifted. I decided we'll take things slow here. So for about nine months I didn't really talk to Jason. This is my second boyfriend that I've had in the midst of me still dating Jason. I obviously stopped dealing with Jason, but he did sell weed so I would buy from him sometimes. Everything was casual. Up until Gus and I stopped dealing with each other. I took a break from dating. Jason was still around but I didn't see him as what I used to see him as. I became older, wiser, aware and more high maintenance. There was a time he dropped some weed off to me and told me he was having a boy with the mother of his first child. Everything changed from that point on. I did have sex with him at some point before my situationship with Gus and after my break up with Gus. But things were never going to be how they used to be. I stopped being interested in Jason and continued moving on with my life. We would meet up and just catch up on life, smoke some weed, maybe grab a drink, but we haven't had sex since 2020 maybe 2021. 

    There was a time I was on my way to a weed event in Pennsylvania with a different weedman of mine, this weedman was my expensive weedman, we were just friends though. Yes I have always had different weedmen for different purposes. We didn't even make it to Pennsylvania this day because he was speeding on the highway, we got pulled over, the cops searched my bag, and saw I had a little bit of weed. Kenny, my weedman forgot he had two previously lit joints in the car so the cops also saw that. That was enough evidence for them to lock us up. It sucked because I remember Kenny saying we're not going to smoke on the way there because the cops are everywhere and he's the one who ended up having old joints in his car LOL. This was before weed was legal. While the search is happening I am texting Jason telling him I might be getting arrested. Once I stopped replying he already knew what time it was. The wild part of it all is the cops didn't even bother to check the trunk. We were literally headed to a weed event, all the weed they really wanted was in the trunk and they never found it. I still ended up spending seven hours in a jail cell for only two grams of weed. They took my phone, I didn't even bother to ask to call anybody because I knew I was going to be out before the day ended. My mom still doesn't know about that till this day. After my seven hours in jail they asked me if I wanted to call anybody So I called Jason and told him where I was and the cops were dropping me off home. The cops didn't allow me to go in the car with Jason for some reason but Jason followed me the entire ride from the station and back home. After that I had to celebrate, I spent the rest of the night with Jason. Luckily I still had some of my Sunday left. This all happened on a Sunday on my day off. Later on Jason pretended to be my uncle and got my record expunged and made Kenny pay for the fees. I haven't seen Kenny the weedman since. 

 As a young woman, Jason taught me a lot of things about life, made me realize a lot of things about myself, things that I am still working on today, and exposed me to certain environments where I met dope people and learned how to carry myself. There were many ups and downs with Jason but once again it was always a mutual understanding. He was not looking for a relationship as he was building his foundation for his children. He wasn't cheating on his kids mother but because of our circumstances I'm sure he made that decision to have another kid with someone he already had a kid with as someone who is getting older. I am grateful to have spent my early young adult years with him being around. He educated me on random ways to get money, his perspective on everything in life, and how to contain my anger. I am still working really hard on maintaining my attitude problems and bitchy fits but one thing I can say is I used to be worse. Jason is the type that was not into arguing, he will gladly drop me off home before I get to say anything. He hated when I would yell at him or curse him out. He only yelled back at me one time. All that matters is that I am aware and I am working on it. Jason is one of the reasons I can say I am good in bed. When I would do something incorrectly he would tell me how to correct it, then I became great at it. Or he would just teach me something new. Others might say he groomed me and I think I agree with that statement but at the end of the day, he's always been there for me at my best, at my worst, whenever I needed a ride, a phone call, he was there. There were plenty of phone calls he got from me because I needed a ride or something bad happened. He would always pick me up whenever I needed him to. I could be a total bitch sometimes and he knew how to handle it. Looking back now, I might have loved Jason. But then again I was interested in other men so I'm not sure. I did tell him I loved him back then and I wanted us to be together multiple times during our phase. He didn't tell me he loved me back until it was too late. Once he told me, I was already in the I don't care, i'm not interested mindset. I always wanted him to tell me but he told me actions speak louder than words. Jason also told me he will always love me as I started getting older. I believe him. I don't think I will ever be able to give that love back though. He's got his own life and I have my own. Overtime I realized it was just another phase. I also was a wild girl as I should have been because those are usually the years we do wild things. When we met, I was still discovering myself and what I liked. Jason is forty now but he's still a phone call away. I don't ever have the urge to want to fuck him. He moved to Georgia but every now and then he comes to New Jersey. I recently met up with him sometime in December to tell him all about my break up and me in general. One thing I can say about Jason is he is my actual diary. I tell him everything, I ask for advice, etc. He's been around for a lot of the guys I dated. I disappear and come back to spill the tea. Jason has ALWAYS told me I have the potential to do whatever it is that I want to do. He has always motivated me in the right ways. So I now view Jason as a friend God put in my life on purpose. I never really looked at older men the way I looked at Jason, he just seemed cooler to me. Not that I'm looking for an older guy but they're not easy to come across. I'm not a sugar daddy kinda girl. If you're reading this and you happen to be an older guy and for some reason think I want you to hit me up, i'm not interested in any men right now. I think I just needed to put that in there just in case I get an unwanted splurge of men. 

Thanks for reading :)